| Love and sex, and the distinction between them. |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|11:00 am] |
It's been a while.
My mate's visit was hurried by necessity, and messed up by complications, but it was still beneficial. Five and a half days here, only three nights with privacy. :(
Before he came over, we'd talked a lot on the phone about how much we wanted each other physically. He wanted to be fucked, and I was happy with that, as long as we had some gentle time as well. Unfortunately, he was far exhausted for much of the visit, and with the amount of moving around we did (complications) I wasn't much better.
I tried to fill what we'd discussed, in our nights alone. In retrospect, it might have been better if we'd stuck to petting. We both needed the personal intimacy, and comfort. Stress cut in a lot on the time we could relax.
For all that, like I said, it was still good for us. |
|
|
| HE IS BACK!!! |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|11:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Extatic! (...hooorny!) | ] |
My mate is returning to me this evening!!
*abundant-rejoycing!*
I've seen him for like a WEEK in the past YEAR!
I'm not going to be online much this week, for obvious reasons. :P
Hellos to Katsu-Neko, who's only recently returned! |
|
|
| Delayed post. |
[Aug. 27th, 2009|11:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
G'day again.
Been another busy week.
My life is in upheaval by my own will; I've quit out of uni and I'm exploring alternatives as fast as I can. My dearly beloved is coming over soon for a week of fun and fucking (crude, but accurate) ^_^
I'm investigating ways in which I can continue my career development while tagging allong with him in his travels (which are requiered for his degree).
So I will be posting infrequently, my appologies for this. |
|
|
| There and gone :( |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|11:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
*sigh*
It's a little frustrating on the net, when you encounter people, develop conversations, and *poof!* without warning, the profile disappears. No idea why, or a thousand ideas on why they might have.
It's their right, and fair enough if the journal is supposed to be private.
I just wish that such events where more often accompanied by some note, even if it's just "I'm leaving". |
|
|
| Damn spammers. |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|12:13 pm] |
|
LJ seams to have been hit by some spam bots. Multiple profiles with jumbled names and posting thousands of one-picture-posts with links to the same pornsite. |
|
|
| Sex and Education |
[Jun. 30th, 2009|11:41 am] |
In my last post I promised some more info on what My partner and I have been getting up to. X)
Masturbating over the phone is fun, but its hard to get the privacy to be loud. I was delighted when he was drunk enough one night to get some strip-sequence shots of himself on the web-cam to send me. Hazzah!
God I miss him.
Next time he's over here, I am so getting a room for us. We need some time to rediscover each other. When I visited him April, we were limited by the temperature up there, and didn't really get an opportunity to have some physical time without intercourse. We got some, but it was usually hurried. I feel like I need to just soak up some time in skin contact with him.
Of course part of that time will be fucking eachother's brains out, but it will also be my job to fight him for the right to do so, sort of. He is emotionally incapable of giving in without fighting! It's a pain at times, but I'm working with it.
I'm thinking about contacting some local bondage groups for tips and tricks. Not just on ways I can approach my mate, but also on safe ways to draw blood. This is part of MY fixation, not his. I love to bite, and sometimes it gets aggressive. He likes bondage and a degree of pain.
So I've gota find out where I can chomp down without to much damage. |
|
|
| Lectures are done, now I can update! |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|02:23 pm] |
Greetings! (To the few that read my journal, 'cause I'm to lazy to update regularly)
Actually, I have truly, really, hugely wanted to update for two and a half months! But pressure from assignments and non-uni projects I'm involved in have kept me flat out since mid-semester. XP X_X
Background:
My partner, Simon, was approved for Permanent-Residency last year, and arrived back from Singapore at the start of the real financial crises (having left a well paying job there to get here!) As you can imagine, it's REALLY hard to get even a part time job when you're a new Asian immigrant in a white dominated society (doesn't help that he's under-average height for an Asian), jobs are scarce, and the financial market is getting worse. Even with his excellent Australian English, top credentials, and handsome looks (if I do say so myself!)
Anyway, he eventually started applying for scholarship positions (he completed Honers, HighDist Av., year before last), and got a position in Melbourne University, doing Masters.
He has since obtained work as well, but he's still a full day's travel away from ME!
:(
So, IN the mid-semester break, I took a trip down to see him for six days. Not a lot of time, but a LOT better than nothing. It’s NOT just the sex, or even the physical intimacy (although I do need a fair bit of that); it’s the proximity. Just being NEAR him makes me calmer. It’s been really stressful being away from him for so long.
I said it wasn’t just the sex, and that’s true. Sex was had though. :D (More on that shortly.)
Despite the amount of time we have been together, we have been pretty slow to get going sexually. The relationship has a Lot going for it, which is just as well, ‘cause we also have a lot of challenges:
He’s transgender- female to male, currently going through the counselling phase of transition. (I wish I was there for more of that.) This causes a lot of difficulties in sex, with body image mostly, but also the need for careful contraception.
He has his background dramas, and so do I. They were big, that’s all I’ll say.
I’m diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, and he’s probably A.S. as well.
He’s probably a fair bit more intelligent than me. I’m struggling through a BSc. On part time. I’ve not got a good grade record. I am more empathic than he, but only a bit.
The difference in our background and parents means that we’re going to have difficulties with family relations.
There’s more, but I think that covers most of the major points.
In the six days we had together, we only had sex 5 times. I’m getting a lot better at giving anal! :D The second day was best; we did it in the morning, before breakfast and late in the evening. I can’t remember a lot of the details now, I really wish I’d been able to post earlier! I do remember in the evening, we came almost together, and I made him squirt all over the pillow! Yay! I can go double rounds usually, staying hard after my first, but after I mentioned that he’d sprayed, he got body shy again. *sigh* He was going so well! He was completely relaxed and enjoying it.
On our last night, we were going to do it, but we’d made the mistake of ordering ‘chicken hot-pot pie’ which turned out to be curry. Curry made anal inadvisable, so we just petted.
Would like to write more, ‘cause there was a lot more that's happened, but I’ve gotta help with the youth now!
If anyone reminds me, I'll write about other stuff. |
|
|
| 1st AP with Simon! |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|10:58 am] |
On Tuesday the 3rd, Simon had me give him anal. Now I know it's unusual that we haven't done that already, given how long we've been together, but there were still a lot of hook-ups around family values, and I admit that I was a bit greatful for the restriction.
If you keep going further, you keep wanting more. Or so it seems. But now we are facing another long period of seperation, and Simon really wanted it before that. Hell, he just really wanted it! I've not seen him so responsive in a long time!
It was more difficult than I expected, to actually get the penetration happening. But it was really good once we were there. and MyGod! Simon was loving it!
In other news, I've met up with a bunch of furries (not fursuiters) and I'm loving thier company very much. I'm a bit of a lap-whore, I love being petted, and it's good for consolation for Simon's absence. |
|
|
| Murr? |
[Dec. 4th, 2008|10:57 am] |
Haa, been a while, as usual it seems.
Simon and I had our first real sexual encounter in more than a month! We've both been so busy, and stressed. We didn't actually screw, but it was still far more satisfying than anything we've had this year really. It feels a little sad to realise that, but at least its a sign that we're re-establishing some stability.
He was so tight, I only got two fingers in, and it took time to get the second!
It was so good to be really intimate again. I don't think either of us came, but we were both satisfied and refreshed.
On another topic, I've re-discovered T.A.T.U.
I KNOW they were publicity lesbians, and I KNOW that they got really pissed off when they were old enough to know better, and sued for being set up like that.
It's unfortunate with the circumstances, but I really think they did their best music in that early period. The early songs don't have a lot of 'story' which I tend to prefer, but they reach me emotionaly, which is important in music. What I've listened to of their later music has just irritated.
I love this vidio clip. Yuri anime, moderate level.
For me though, it reminded me of dreams I'd long forgoten.
http://www.videoplayer.hu/videos/play/223144 |
|
|
| I am Returned! |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|11:16 am] |
Hey to all people!
There are so many songs describing how I feel now; Alive, energized, more real, more awake. Because my love is back with me. Not more organized unfortunately, but you can't have everything!
Simon is BACK! His immigration has been approved, he's looking for a job and sorting out his gear.
There's some conflict between us, which is unfortunate, but understandable. After being apart for so long, we've forgotten a lot of the small quirks we have, so we need to regain balance.
... I hate to acknowledge it, but I'd be a fool not to; it is possible that our relationship will not hold out. A major factor in that is my difficulty in getting through university. I don't know who's more frustrated by it.
So much to do! And I'd better get back to it.
Still got assignments to finish. |
|
|
| Counting Down! |
[Oct. 12th, 2008|08:31 pm] |
It is now 7days and 21 hours till I will be wrapped around my Simon!
No sex, probably not for a several weeks, 'cause that's the only free day and a half I have till the end of November. But, closeness, snuggles, having someone else to sleep beside. *sigh*
I'm feeling the deprivation of physical contact, of any sort. Most of my snuggle friends have moved of here and there, and while I do have good family, I can't actually get comfortable with physical contact with them. I do have quite a few friends around still, but not ones that I can go up to and cuddle up on. In fact, for the sake of general comfort, I don't cuddle up to friends at all unless I can _really_ cuddle up to them.
I'm rambling, probably 'cause I'm tired.
Wonderful weather here just now; almost stormy, but still quite dry. Bad for hay fever though. |
|
|
| Dumdeedum *yawn!* |
[Sep. 29th, 2008|12:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
So much I could/should be doing. So little that I want to.
21 days to go till Simon gets back! Tee hee!
(I'm feeling so ditsy right now it's almost making me sick. Maybe I am sick, and that's why I'm ditsy?) |
|
|
| Contentment |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|02:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
Been away on a field trip for university. Feeling much refreshed for the change.
*purr*
I've discovered that I really like wearing my collar in public. Until recently I've only worn it at Pride events, I've never worn it for a whole day before this week.
It feels _good_ to wear it! It feels good to feel like I look good.
I still wont were it at home. I think that would be pushing mums boundaries needlessly. Once my little brother catches on and asks about why I cuddle up to Simon so much, or something like that, then we can have a good chat and I'll be able to start being more open in my home.
Speaking of which; it's four weeks till Simon is due back in Australia. So close and yet so far! Me is hungry for snuggles, and more.
(Cross posting) |
|
|
| Sexual Encounters |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|05:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
It's funny, I'm only really learning in the past couple of months what I remember my class mates of 8 years ago doing: The language of picking someone up.
I'm never the deliberate instigator, but I understand now so many of the physical cues that I simply didn't get before. Social blindness. I realise that I've had plenty of opportunities that I missed at the time. And while I probably still wouldn't have taken them if I'd been aware of them, I would have felt better for it.
Actually, I've really pushed my boundaries in what I can accept. I'm not comfortable with the degree of freedom I've reach, 'cuase I don't _really_ hold the reins. I give myself to others.
I need my Simon back, so I can say, "He's my master in this. If you want to borrow me, you have to talk to him." |
|
|
| Pass the Happieness! |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|12:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ditzy | ] |
*squee!*
Happy happy again. I was really ill the other day, but it was a really brief bug, whatever it was, and I recovered quickly. I got news yesterday from my love, and it turns out he's become a local celebrity! He has people he's never met before coming up to him and calling him by his forum name (which I'm not using here, so don't ask). And asking him about his work, and can he do a demonstration for their group? ^^ *squeesquee!*
He'll be missed when he comes back here. And there's more; It's well known in the community that he's transgender, and there's huge amounts of support for him "Your so brave to go through with it/I admire you for living as you se yourself. etc."
That surprised even me!
His parents are still trying to ignore the matter, and he's complying with most of thier requests.
I finally found a good book on the subject; "Trangeners and Intersexuals (everything you ever wanted to know but couldn't think of the question)" By Lois May, Foreword by Jeff McMullen.
Just the introductory section told me nearly everything I'd been hunting for! I'm only up to chapter 2 now.
Less than two months to Simon returns, so much to do before he does. *love*
/cross posted/ |
|
|
| Counting Clouds |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|01:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
*sigh*
Time is moving all right, I just don't feel conected to it. I have assignments to do, I'm working well, but it just seems wispy, unreal.
The only real thing for me right now is my partners absence, and comming arrival. |
|
|
| He's Comming BACK! |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|10:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
*squee!*
My partner has got his plain ticket back to Australia! He's due back late october. That's still a while off, but its a definite _time_! After months of vague time tables it's such a good feeling to have something definite.
Something he told me about recently as well; He met an intersexed cosplayer about a week ago, and they were both intrigued enough to use the same cubical to get changed, and doing some show and tell.
I can't help thinking "I'll show you mine you show me yours". Except it's kind of tangential to the usual scenario.
Mhe.
Just curious, how many of you are aware of the terms used for intersexed individuals?
As in, 'se' instead of 'he' and 'she', and 'hir' instead of 'his' or 'her'. |
|
|
| Mem |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
Only two rules:
You must answer yes or no. You may not explain your answers unless someone asks. So ask!
Taken a picture naked?
No
Made money illegally?
No
Had a one night stand?
Yes
Been in a fist fight?
Yes
Slept with your best friend?
No
Had sex in a public place?
Yes
Ditched work to have sex?
No
Slept with a member of the same sex?
Yes
Seen someone die?
Yes
Ran from the police?
Yes
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there?
Yes
Worn your partners unmentionables?
Yes
Fallen asleep at work?
Yes
Used toys in the bedroom?
Yes
Ran a red light?
No
Been fired?
No
Been in a car accident?
No
Pole danced or done a striptease?
No
Loved someone you shouldn't?
No
Sang karaoke?
Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants?
No
Caught someone having sex?
Yes
Kissed a perfect stranger?
No
Shaved your partner?
Yes
Given your private parts a nickname?
No
Ever gone in public without underwear?
Yes
Had sex on a roof top?
No
Played chicken?
No
Mooned/flashed someone?
No
Do you sleep naked?
Yes
Blacked out from drinking?
No
Felt like killing someone?
Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day?
Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band?
No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day?
No
Shot a gun?
No
Gone outside naked?
Yes |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
philus's journal
blah
bouncy